Claire de Loon!

Get it…Clair de loon! Claire de lune la la la! That’s right, you’re a simpleton and don’t know anything, let alone what I mean. Ah- well. So anyway, Claire here, is two things: non-American and semi-sane (as opposed to insane and American). This bodes well for JTV. She will show her feet, can juggle and seems unwilling to timeout or ban anybody. Plus she readily hands out her e-mail address to anybody who asks: theonlybluefairy@hotmail.co.uk. Now who’s the one who needs to worry?! I think she’s trying to reel in some suckers so she can drink their blood. Are you the one? Go ahead, I dare you to. She’s not dangerous. She only rocks in her chair part of the time.

Lastly Lynna

And finally we land with Lynna in the land of make believe beer. Otherwise known as wine coolers! Mmmmmbuddy! Nothing says this is going to be your lucky night like a girl with her knuckles wrapped around a bottle of pooched hard beverage. Not that there are any pretenses of you getting lucky cyber-ly, in person or otherwise but we like to make mockeries of our celluloid idols by pinning little fairy tales to their farts. Of course, she’s kinda cute, especially if you’re staring at her bosom — and you are — but…

awwww shee’yit…some dog and a gumpa looking dude just ruined the whole party. Put the blue balls flashing light back up because it’s going to be another long night of nothing.

M’bye.

It’s a Recital not a COMPETITION!

Maybe my left eye twitch of the last few days is not symptomatic of too little sleep but more a neurological trauma, seeing as the first impression of this girl was that of a teenage girl version of Sgt. Slaughter. Sans la moustachio, of course. But the frown is permanent like permafrost. Which is not offensive to me at all. Smiling is a plagues. All right, I’ve tortured this kid long enough. You go and try to get a reaction out of her before getting banned!

Secks Tawk

Watch live video from LIZZY GETS BUSY on Justin.tv

While digging through the Friday night bag of trollop (I’m only reviewing chicas for the time being) I came across this candid little video of some Bronx girl talking about sex. I’m not actually sure if it’s her or the friend talking but what’s being said is the main attraction here anyway. Eat your dose of dark meat for the week white sucka!