Two Little Bastards

This is the story of two little bastards: Dylan and Jack B. I guess they’re not really bastards in the dictionary sense of the word but as far as pussyhounds and puerile pursuits go they do get in the way. That is, they clog up the top bar with their teenage boy band mugs. Personally, I’ve never spent more than about three minutes in either of their channels but I am menaced by their topbar appearances on a daily basis. Everyone clamors to get the teenybopper girls off here — and I approve of that notion (start JTV Tweens!) — because of the pervert factor, but aren’t just as many perverted men looking to meetup with boys? I guess that’s a question for Kansas Jim.

“Jim.”

“Yes, JTV News?”

“I want to kill you you fucking child molester.”

“I want to kill me too, JTV News.”

Good, that’s solved, now somebody work to get these little bastards off the network!

La Dolce Vulva

Now this is a motherfucking JTV first! Jenny Dolce doesn’t call herself a camwhore, she calls herself a live cam model! My big hairy ass! I’m sure she has a website of sorts where she shows her beaver (which is fine if you’re desperate enough to need to pay a chick to get nude for you) and fawns all over limp-peckered old guys who then buy her Gucchi wallets and primrose pussy sprays! Haha, that even made me laugh. Awww- shee’yit, Yaw’s boy’z being a misogynist again. Boo hoo.

Sasha and the Ass

I’m not sure who Sasha is but her and a friend were playing one of those new participation type boxing video games and really got down. Low-down dirty to the pubic grass low. I guess that’s more hyperbole than an actual happening but so what. They were getting down either way and whichever girl was in the pants on the left has a nice ass. I couldn’t help but think that while these two were trying to punch each other out in a virtual world some clowns were watching and punching their own brains out, one fist to the head of the hydra, repeatedly. That, I think, is not conjecture, nor is this hardly news and you, alas- are no more the enlightened by either endeavor.