Tender Moments with The Cunt: Nekomimi Lisa

So yesterday, a lot of you watched Nekomimi Lisa’ cat Ifrit on cam while he was in extreme pain laying on the floor…and she was on the phone with the vet. First of all, if it were my beloved pet and it was writhing on the floor in pain, I wouldn’t CALL the fucking vet, I’d be in my fucking car driving as fast as I could to the vet office or nearest animal hospital. I don’t care if I had just paid almost $700.00 in a vet bill ( like she did ) for the cat or not…it’s life would be more important to me than any amount of money.
It was interesting that she called the vet and gladly gave them her JTV page, so they could log on and take a look at the cat on cam…lmfao. What a fucking joke. Anything for viewers right?
Someone in chat said “Lisa’s been broadcasting since the 90’s, this is her life”…BIG FUCKING DEAL. It’s a good damned thing her mom wasn’t over there in pain and dying..although that would’ve been more interesting to watch on cam. Oh and how gallant of her faithful fans to ask people to donate and ChipIn to help Lisa with the vet bill…awww…let’s get some tissues for our tear stained faces. Perhaps they got the idea from the Monkey Cam’s “fund raiser” to help pay for the high bill of having the monkey’s fangs removed…yet….weeks later….Justin the monkey’s “daddy” has a brand new cam! He claims it was sent to him free….yeah…free…courtesy of foolish JTV viewers and their donations…haha.
Ok, back on topic now.
At one point while Lisa was frantic and crying over the cat, and the cat is lying on the floor meowing in pain..she stops long enough to eat a bowl of noodles or soup ( whatever the fuck it was is not important ). Guess watching your cat die makes you hungry?
Anyway, I hope there are more responsible pet owner out there than this bug-eyed, over-dramatic bitch that will actually do what is best for the animal and not worry about viewers and broadcasting.

The Cunt is a cunt. Catch her show before she catches you and rapes the remaining dignity from your ass bone.

BROWNEY POINTS with Donald K. Browne: Jack Bromby

Hey JTV fans! Just got an invitation to visit http://justin.tv/livefromuk this afternoon.  Well,
lets say I really received one invite at 12:03, then another one at 12:06, then one at 12:17,
another at12:21, and so on throughout the afternoon every few minutes.

I had mentioned to Jack weeks earlier than an "invitation" to visit his channel is much like
knocking on a neighbors door and inviting them to a party.  I told Jack, you knock on the door once,
you don't keep coming back every few minutes and knocking again.

But Jack is young, and not eager to learn etiquette.

Taking a look at Jack Bromby' profile from Billingham, England we can see that Jack is in reality
building up a huge "mailing" list of so-called friends.  Jack today had 1,536 "friends" on his
Jackb profile page.

I would think that must be a JTV record for the most "friends" for a channel.  Jack, on the other
hand has only 17 fans listed.  I would guess the little Bromby brat really only has 17 friends but
has suckered 1,519 others into clicking on the  friend invitations sent to them over recent
weeks.

Jack has a second screen name as well, also having an additional 290 "friends" on his LiveFromUk
profile page, and only 5 fans favorited this channel.

Want to join a Jack Bromby protest? Ok, all you 1,536 "friends" of Jack Bromby, go to his profile page or his secondary page and click  "Remove Friend" and never again be bombarded by this little brat's "invitations"
to visit his inane teen chat.

Jack has one less friend today...I clicked "remove" for Jack Bromby's dual JTV screen names.

Brownie Points: 0

Donald K. Browne is back to his normal persona as a good guy extraordinaire. Carouse with him live and melt under the gentle sway of his magic mustache in the warm climes of Florida.

This just in- love child found

Despite his fervent denial, this jtvnews beat reporter, is fairly certain that firwgn (Firewagon), Scott to dear old mom and his part time MickyDee co-workers, is indeed the love child of Elvis Costello and Cameron Frye of Ferris Bueller fame.
~ CWPF

Sodds & Fiends

Our newest bestest friend whateverthefuckhernameis is not only a Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) from House look-a-like (this is better represented in the pic below) but she’s also now a top bar hookuh! Just kidding. Maybe. Sorta. Not really. I don’t care either way because I’m mentally ill. Anyway, there are a couple things I have noticed about her in the short time that I have perused her channel. You can’t really peruse a chatroom can you? Ogled her channel? Yes, much better. Look at the top pic. Does it not look like she has a gold tooth? Yes, it does but it’s an optical illusion. Mystery solved. Now look again below:

Does she have a boob job? The reason I ask this is that there seems to be an elevated mound just off to the right (our left) of her breastbone (see example) and between her breast. I could be wrong and it might just be a shadow but it seems a little too pronounced not to be taken into consideration. Kiki would know…she’s a boob expert. Kiki? I looked at archive footage but the boob inlet is blocked by the damn clock thingy. Hell, maybe she has them and it’s an open secret and I’m prattling on about nothing as per usual.

If you squint just right the wallpaper at this French girl’s home is the same as the Zeppelin IV album. Of course if you don’t squint it still is to me and that’s what really is important here. Now now…no need to squeeze the juice from your panties caused by my insouciant nature, just recycle some paper or a tin can today, my bitches, and we’ll be square with the Lawd and Mama Nature.

There’s this guy and he’s real sensitive. He cries during movies, eats at McDonalds and lurves the internet. But enough about me…every few weeks I bump into this frog-face and he gets all touchy, bans me and clears the room and goes private. Which is fine by me because I’m not there to talk to him to begin with. I was just moseying on by and happened in. I do, however, have a little advice in a rather few short and succinct sentences. The war is over. Daddy can no longer hurt you. There, can we hug now? I know the sting resonates still but I can be your internet daddy if you’ll let me be. Pweeeease.

A Fond Farewell

Due to confidential circumstances and a restraining order placed upon me by Jesus, I will no longer be blogging for JTV. All right, that’s a lie, but I won’t be updating for about a week after today. I’m trying to convince C.W.P.F. to fill in for me while I am out of town on “business” but there has been no commitment forthcoming. Either way, I’ll be leaving the password in our trusted beat reporter’s e-mail box and we’ll see what transpires. To help with this matter I encourage you to submit news, stories, etc to jtv.news@yahoo.com. Wish me good luck as I do you.

BREAKING NEWS: Laggie shapeshifts into Bradman live on air…

and then proceeds to vomit up the dog and pastrami sandwich he ate as a late night snack.

BREAKING NEWS: Laggie Readies Her Miss Mad Bunny Crown Acceptance Speech

Or maybe that isn’t her…either way, some chubby girl is playing with a gun and that’s newsworthy goddammit!

Only 25 days left to vote!

BREAKING NEWS: Toe and Dildo Sucking a la mode

Savannah enjoyed an intoxicated Saturday night (brought to you by our friend Anon Anonymous).

“The icon was kinda cute. The girl was kinda drunk. Huge breasts, and sang into her cockrophone a lot. The toe sucking was nice, and there appeared to be a little areola slippage (but no nipple that I could differentiate).”

Sodds & Fiends

Just like USA Today does and other major newspapers and tv networks, we put our obligatory minority picture and post up so that everybody feels good about themselves here. Well, what could be sweeter than a little chocolate baby who was adopted by some white folk? Awwww…lurve in its truest sense. Now if only I could adopt a few 20 year old JTV girls then it’d be like a fairy tale come true. Gush gush gush.

I will most likely be near Tampa, Florida next week and having sex with the little wise one. I mean it’s no coincidence that I should find her channel a few days before I depart is it? I’m trying to read her lips now that I have asked her the question. She got real sad eyes and said what I believe was, “Afder da movies you can sux my pussay.” Excellent. Then she went on to utter something like “Goddamn the horse.” I think this is a reference to Trojan! Awwww hellll….bare back we will go riding Ayn Rand eye-balled woman.

Watch live video from RachelCorinne on Justin.tv
The first thing that I noticed about Rachel Corinne is that she sounds like Teddy Ruxpin’s pal Grubby. A mucus laden nasal speech pointed with hard consonants and clacks from the back of the throat. It’s hard having the regional dialects and not getting caught up in the hackneyed way of wrong speak. But we all do it and that can be forgiven. What can’t be forgiven is her constant reading of the room dialogue and then self-deprecating rebuttals. “Yah, Ima dirdy hhhore.” Smack yourself lady before somebody else does first.

Sodds & Fiends

I’ve been having a bit of dilemma for a few days now. I have no sound while I house-sit my brother’s dogs and so room watching has been more inventive than ever. I mean, I usually don’t pay much attention to what the broadcaster says anyway and make things up as is necessary. I guess it’s not really a problem is it? Just totally fabricate it all and gain more rabid blog-hating fans. Amen.

I’m not going to lie to you. Nerdy girls make me hot! There’s a nerdy librarian girl at a local library that looks like a cuter version of Velma from Scooby Doo and every time I see her I think that I would forsake all beautiful women in the world in her honor. I don’t know what it is but it works for me despite my lack of nerdy girlfriends. Look at her gleaming glasses and wooly hair. Now that’s a woman. Errr…girl.

I was going to show some highlight videos and clicked the big gay button at the top of the page in doing so. Whoa! A 16 year old girl in a teddy. Which in itself isn’t the worst thing but it shouldn’t be on here. I’m not going to post it and encourage the watching of it when I didn’t even watch more than 30 seconds of it, but I bring it to your attention for the top two comments. Read them. Now there’s some positive reinforcement for a girl who is obviously in need of it. Nice job whiskeytown! Go report it already you goddamn son of a bitches. Seriously, she’s a kid.

I don’t know who the fuck Cheryl Hill is but she has a band and must have some notoriety or the justin.tv homepage wouldn’t be featuring her. Which is too bad really because like most minor celebrities who make their way here they are a bit fly-by-nightish and only broadcast a few times. While the loyal insane nobody broadcasters who made the site and rank in the top bar echelon Hall of Fame get a biscuit tossed their way here and again. Which only shows why the site is languishing. Not that I care just that it’s a bit ironic is all. Ha…I checked their MySpace and they only have 17k views. They aren’t even minor celebrities. Go figure.

Watch live video from The Cheryl Hill Show! on Justin.tv