BREAKING NEWS: I AM A DICK!

Tender Moments with The Cunt: Dealer

In the months that I’ve been on JTV, I have not ‘known’ anyone as pathetic as the midget Alan/Dealer. Now he is broadcasting, as he always is, with no shirt on, playing DDR while his bored gf Becky sits on the sidelines and keeps track of his chat in his channel. What a fucking way to spend a Saturday night. I feel so sorry for little Marisa, the mail order brides little baby, she certainly didn’t choose to live the life she is living now. Being broadcast for the wonderful world of web perverts to sit and stare at. Sad thing is, the baby is probably the smartest of the little ready made family. While Alan is bouncing his pot belly and floppy tits around attempting to be a DDR winner, the baby just has a spaced out look on her face, which is probably what Alan is used to seeing in the faces of family every time he sees them.

Any girl with half a brain that isn’t desperate would NEVER pick that Lucky Charms fuckhead as a boyfriend.

I did notice while painfully watching him, that he is just about as tall as the sofa is. That must make him feel good.

To think that I got a ‘time out’ because I said “isn’t that cute, the mail order bride is defending the midget”…it’s always nice to know you’ve affected someone in a way that they can’t handle the truth and have to give you a ‘time out’. Hahaha!
One more thing before I go…perhaps Alan can make enough money to have Beckys ears pinned back.

Just a thought.

The Cunt is a cunt. Catch her show before she catches you and rapes the remaining dignity from your ass bone.

ASK A WHORE: The Aftermath of Motherhood

February 7, 2008

Question:

Hey whore…how does a hooker get rid of the stomach disfiguration after having a baby? Or is just better to embrace the thing and use it as a jizz pool? – KaptinKeed

Answer:

Well, there are a couple of things you can do. Since you’re a whore and you just had a baby there will be no time for exercise. So, you will have to try and get an ab workout while you’re banging tricks. When in the missionary position grab the headboard or edge of bed (since most motel beds don’t have a headboard) you can do ab crunches. To make it harder (the crunch not the dick) put your legs around his back. Or you can try laying on your stomach with your legs apart thrusting up and down while holding in your ab muscles. If your belly is just too stretched out it may never go back to the way it was before. Look at the bright side now when you have chubby tricks there’s a little extra cushion so it don’t feel like they are breaking your ribs.

Ask the Whore is a presentation of the greater PIMP Association of America for Truth and Justice.

Blogpsot [sic]

Yeah, that’s not a misprint: blogPSot. With an emhasis on the PS. If you switch those two letters around in the URL for this blog you get this page below:

A Bible College! Woooo hoo! It’s an end-time message folks. Time to end this stupid blog! Well, I would have if I wouldn’t have gotten banned. Now I’m determined that when I’ve finished moving and have time I will set up a .com. Just to be an asshole. I’m good at that as you well know. Of course if you took the time to realize that this is only a website and not a viable alternate reality to the existence you already loathe then you might comprehend that fact. But you won’t because you need wuvvvv fummm UR widdo intanet lurvers. Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah. Luv ya bunches.

JTV News

Carly gets down

She made $200 doing it too. It goes towards an iphone. Maybe I should start showing my hotdog so that I can get some new shoes. Or maybe a gay benefactor or a sugar mama will be willing to let me live a life of leisure blogging and broadcasting away. Are you the one?