Let’s say that you’re in Carly’s room and she’s just waking up from a long night of post-JTV schmoozing, what do you suppose the first thing you’d hear after the obligatory “GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!”? My guess is something akin to “Awww…and I was just about 2 cum.” or “I’d hit that.” which would eventually segue into “Babe, I’d love to see you smile. Smile for me darling.” On the bare surface of things this isn’t the worst thing you could say to another human being, but let’s dissect the tacky statements anyhow.
“I was about to finish.” says the meaty manipulator and in 57% of the instances that this phrase is uttered I can guess that it is said legitimately. Of course you always have to factor in the one-third goof-ball ratio and the give or take +5/-5 which accompanies every poll, survey or human endeavor in guesswork. So thus we have about a 60 percentile ratio of penile pumpers in a room where a girl merely speaks across the airways. The fact that many disillusioned and delusional are on sites such as this is a given these days. The lonely hearts club has come into your living room with a vengeance American sad saps. Why would somebody jerk off in a chatroom?
1. Boobs are being displayed
2. The possibility of boobs being shown
3. Boobs exist
4. Boobs might exist on other planets
5. E=BoobsC2
I guess the possibilities are endless and all contain the word boobs. In a world of cheese I guess it’s quite expectable that the tap root should be the fleshen nipple bulb. One mystery solved.
“Smile for me Babe.” is one of the most nauseating phrases that I think I have ever heard. More repugnant is the fact that many women, like trained beasts, actually pony up lipwise and teethward and do just that: SMILE. First off, BABE’s a pig or something some needy homeowner calls the workmen adding an addition to his home so that he feels A-OK offering them lemonade and butter cookies later on in the afternoon. In any instance it’s gay, domineering, pathetic and just plain cheesy. Yes, a world of cheese and wouldn’t you know that this is the perv’s roundabout way of saying whip out those tits and smile while you’re doing it so that I don’t feel like the smiling cheshire cat who has just licked up the cream in my jeans.
So we can clearly see that flattery is the obvious gateway to perversion. A man needs boobs. Ones who feel guilty about this necessity use stealth methods and say flattering things to loosen up both himself and the female inclined to need to hear such fluff.
Personally I think it’s a bit needy to say it and points to a few mental and socio-biophysical ineptitudes. Namely, but not specifically relegated to these fine points of contention:
1. You’re gay and trying to convince yourself that you need boobs
2. You hate women’s wily ways but you love BOOBS
3. Momma cut your boob access off at a rather tender age so that she could pursue the fine art of masturbation while you screamed in your makeshift crib
4. Boobs R US
5. The eyes are the pathway to the soul, the mouth is the quick route to second input and BOOBS are simply and satisfactorily NIRVANA on wheels.
Thus concludes another class into the psyches of the man-handed ground ape.