Sodds & Fiends

Just like USA Today does and other major newspapers and tv networks, we put our obligatory minority picture and post up so that everybody feels good about themselves here. Well, what could be sweeter than a little chocolate baby who was adopted by some white folk? Awwww…lurve in its truest sense. Now if only I could adopt a few 20 year old JTV girls then it’d be like a fairy tale come true. Gush gush gush.

I will most likely be near Tampa, Florida next week and having sex with the little wise one. I mean it’s no coincidence that I should find her channel a few days before I depart is it? I’m trying to read her lips now that I have asked her the question. She got real sad eyes and said what I believe was, “Afder da movies you can sux my pussay.” Excellent. Then she went on to utter something like “Goddamn the horse.” I think this is a reference to Trojan! Awwww hellll….bare back we will go riding Ayn Rand eye-balled woman.

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The first thing that I noticed about Rachel Corinne is that she sounds like Teddy Ruxpin’s pal Grubby. A mucus laden nasal speech pointed with hard consonants and clacks from the back of the throat. It’s hard having the regional dialects and not getting caught up in the hackneyed way of wrong speak. But we all do it and that can be forgiven. What can’t be forgiven is her constant reading of the room dialogue and then self-deprecating rebuttals. “Yah, Ima dirdy hhhore.” Smack yourself lady before somebody else does first.